Cyberbullying and online harm: a guide for families

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Signs to watch for

Many signs show up around how a child uses their phone, tablet or computer. Your child might:

• Seem upset, angry or quiet after using their device.
• Suddenly use their device much more, or stop using it.
• Hide the screen when you come near, or close apps quickly.
• Avoid school, friends or activities they used to enjoy.
• Sleep or eat differently, or seem worried most of the time.

These signs can have other causes. If you notice them, start a calm conversation.

If your child tells you something happened

1. Listen first. Stay calm and thank them for telling you. Let them know it is not their fault.
2. Try not to take their phone away. Many teens don’t tell their parents because they expect to lose their device.
3. Save the evidence. Take screenshots of messages and posts that show names, dates and links. (The one exception is in the box below.)
4. Block and report. Help your child block the person and report the account or post in the app.
5. Tell the school. Contact the school counselor or principal. Every U.S. state requires schools to have a bullying policy, and most cover cyberbullying.
6. Check in again. Keep talking over the following days. If your child seems very low or talks about hurting themselves, get help right away.

Talk early, before anything happens

• Ask which apps and games your child uses, and who they talk to there.
• Agree that they can always come to you without losing their phone.
• Remind them never to share passwords, and to think before posting photos.
• Show them how to block, mute and report in their favorite apps.

What health and school professionals advise

• Pediatricians (AAP): most apps are designed to keep children scrolling, not to keep them well. The American Academy of Pediatrics has free family resources on cyberbullying.
• Psychologists (APA): teach social media skills before your child starts using it, and limit their exposure to hurtful and harmful content.
• School counselors (ASCA): help students and families with safe, responsible technology use. Your child’s school counselor is a good first call.

Know your state’s law

Lantern explains in plain English what your state’s bullying law says, including whether it covers cyberbullying and behavior off school grounds. Look up your state at saileekrath.com/lantern.

Where to get help

• FBI tips: tips.fbi.gov or 1-800-CALL-FBI
• NCMEC CyberTipline: report.cybertip.org
• Take It Down, to help remove images: takeitdown.ncmec.org
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988
• AAP family resources: aap.org
• StopBullying.gov: stopbullying.gov

From Lantern by Dr. Sailee Karkhanis Rath, Brooklyn College. General information, not legal advice. Based on Lantern’s digital harm checklist and StopBullying.gov guidance for parents.