Lesson 6 of 7 · About 4 minutes
Practice: two real-life situations
Two short stories to talk through on your own or with colleagues.
Read each story. Decide your first three steps, who you would tell, and anything you would not do. Then open the good-practice notes and compare.
Middle school · Mean or harassing messages
Scenario 1. The group chat
A seventh grader stays behind after class and tells you that classmates have made a group chat about her. For two weeks they have posted mocking pictures of her and voted on “who would be the worst to sit with at lunch.” She shows you a few messages on her phone and asks you not to tell anyone because it will “make it worse.”
Discuss
- How do you respond to her request to keep it secret?
- What evidence would help, and how should it be saved?
- Does your state’s bullying law cover a chat that started at home?
Show what good practice looks like
What good practice looks like
Thank her for telling you. Explain kindly that you can’t keep it secret, and who you will tell and why. Check that she is safe and has an adult to go to. Watch for signs of distress or self-harm.
Help her screenshot the messages with names, dates and the chat name. Don’t ask her to delete anything. Help her mute or leave the chat and report it in the app, and follow your school’s bullying report steps the same day.
Professional standards: ASCA’s ethical standards give every student a right to a safe school on digital platforms, and APA’s 2023 advisory calls for limiting teens’ exposure to cyberbullying. NASP and NASN stress helping bystanders, such as classmates in the chat, to speak up.
High school · Sextortion Urgent
Scenario 2. “Send money or I’ll post it”
A tenth-grade boy asks to see the counselor right away. He is shaking. Last night someone he met on a social app, who seemed to be a girl his age, asked for a photo. He sent one. Now the account says it will send the photo to his followers unless he pays $300 by tonight. He wants to know if he should pay.
Discuss
- What is the first thing you say to him?
- Who must be told today, and in what order?
- What should he do with the account and messages?
Show what good practice looks like
What good practice looks like
Tell him clearly that it is not his fault and he is not in trouble. He should not pay and should not send anything more. Paying rarely ends the threats. He should keep the messages and not delete the account or chat.
Report to the FBI (tips.fbi.gov or 1-800-CALL-FBI) and the NCMEC CyberTipline (report.cybertip.org) today. Involve an administrator and his parents or caregivers under district policy.
Never view, save or forward the image. Describe the situation in writing instead. Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org) can help stop the image spreading online.
Professional standards: ASCA’s digital safety statement asks counselors to respond with a team and to tell parents and administrators when a student is at serious and foreseeable risk.
Remember
- Agree your first three steps, who you would tell, and what you would not do.
- Reassure first, then save, report and follow up.